Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
