There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
