i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
