i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
