Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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