I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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