I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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