I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
