peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
