Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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