Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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