Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
