coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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