So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
