Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
