turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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