Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
my poor anus
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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