He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
