Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You don't make any sense
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