I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
