she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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