Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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