We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
