Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
