Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
