You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
