I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
