Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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