well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize