Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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