We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize