My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize