i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
