I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize