census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
