I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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