6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
