This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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