Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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