The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
