Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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