How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
