hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize