and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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