So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
