you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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