hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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