Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
