What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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