He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
