Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
