I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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