I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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